A Peek Into Gorgeous Golding’s Mind™: It Takes A Moment To Change A Status

EPISODE 022

According to the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, Nigeria ranks among the countries with the highest HIV burden globally. The country also has a generalised HIV epidemic, with the highest HIV burden in the West and Central African sub-region. As of March 2023, about 100,000 people living with HIV in Nigeria were yet to be on antiretroviral treatment.

Source: NACA website, as reported by Marcus Fatunmole.

I saw that report and thought this might just be a good time to share my concerns about certain things I have seen around lately.

So, yeah, the numbers are really scary, with Nigeria ranking among the countries with the highest number of people living with HIV, judging from the report.

When I first saw that, I thought, “That’s a really high number. Then, where are all these people?”

Have you asked yourself the same question?

The truth is, they are not hidden. They are people like you and me.

To get a little more honest, people living with HIV could be any one of us. Your siblings, friends, parents, wives, husbands, children, teachers, mentors, bosses, drivers, housekeepers, assistants, teammates or team members, et cetera.

I’m sure some of us hear news and updates like that and instantly, passively think these people must be somewhere far away, perhaps in a hospital, a care home, or some unfamiliar place.

Smiles.

The last place we ever think about or look around is our own environment.

I know you tested yourself last year, and maybe your family and friends did too, and the results were negative.

Okay, I get the sentiment, but I’m sure you can count how many times you’ve visited the barbershop without your personal clipper. You also probably must have gone to a beauty shop to get your nails done, for a pedicure or manicure, without your personal kit.

Hmmm…

I don’t even want to think about how many times you’ve had sex with your partner without protection.

Yeah, I get it. You like the bare sensation…

And plus, OMG, you guys are getting married. Oh, pardon me, you’re a couple already.

So, yeah, are you saying, “Golding, are you suggesting that I have sex with my own husband or wife with caution and protection?”

Nah!

I’m just tapping on your consciousness, that’s all. You can figure the rest out yourself.

Hear this too:

I know we encourage oneness and love amongst ourselves, in our communities, homes, offices, and all of that. Your partner, family member, or teammate, just like you, does not exist in isolation.

Every individual member of a team or group is also a member of another group or social circle elsewhere.

So?

What makes you think that the person who left you yesterday is the same person, in wholeness, coming back to you today?

What makes you think that the innocent you who stepped into a barbershop is the same you stepping out?

We humans are social beings, and that means we interact with different people and environments. While social interaction itself does not put us at risk of HIV, some of the activities we engage in and the precautions we overlook can expose us to infections.

Again, I’m only tapping on your consciousness.

That’s all.

I know you love your friends, family, and teammates, and so you share almost everything together. You drink from the same cup, the same bottle, and use the same self-care kits, clippers, blades, cuticle tools, and all, without necessarily thinking about what could be transferred through those shared items.

A sore, a cut, blood, an infection you didn’t know was there.

Now, let me make something clear: HIV is not transmitted through sharing cups, bottles, or ordinary social contact. Neither is it spread through saliva alone. However, sharing instruments contaminated with infected blood, such as unsterilised blades or other skin-piercing tools, can expose people to blood-borne infections, including HIV and hepatitis.

Not every infection spreads the same way, but that is exactly the point. We often share things without understanding what we may be exposing ourselves to.

So, when I talk about being intentional, I mean being conscious about your health, your body, your relationships, and the environments you interact with.

So, when I first met my ex, a great guy who was crazy about me, we both were…

Avoid asking, “Why, then, did you break up?”

Disclaimer: I was still one foot in the world.

Yeah, we had sex. Unprotected sex.

Though, at first, he pretended we were using a condom, but a little while after we started, he quickly took it off and went back in, hoping I wouldn’t notice. But I noticed what happened, and if I’m being honest, I was glad he did.

But after we were done, I acted a bit angry about why he would do that without seeking my permission.

He apologised and said he was sincerely sorry.

He said he really wanted to be there and didn’t want to pretend to be protecting ourselves from each other.

Much later, he pulled out the HIV testing kit he had at home. He was a medical doctor, though.

He did a rapid test on himself to show me he was safe and was ready to do every other test. He also tested me.

However, I considered myself safe, having done HIV and hepatitis tests before that, and they had come back negative.

But I didn’t think of any of that in the moment of pleasure. It was afterwards that it dawned on me how much could have been lost in a moment, all for a single desire for pleasure disguised as love.

Silly me.

That could have been you or anyone else.

Since when did love become a show of stupidity?

That was sheer foolishness and selfishness entwined for a pleasure that would last only a moment.

That’s not love.

Love is protective.
Love is sure.
Love is commitment.
Love is selfless leadership.

Love is everything but not stupid.

And let me be clear about something else: being in love, being in a committed relationship, or even being married does not automatically eliminate the need to make informed decisions about sexual health. Trust matters, but so do honest conversations, mutual consent, appropriate testing, and informed choices.

A negative HIV test is reassuring, but the timing of the test matters. Tests have window periods, meaning an infection acquired recently may not immediately be detected. A negative result from a previous test cannot tell you whether you have acquired an infection through a subsequent exposure.

Also, a partner’s test result does not replace your own understanding of your health, and no one should remove a condom or change an agreed sexual boundary without their partner’s consent.

But then again, don’t forget:

I’m only tapping on your consciousness.

What’s the point I’m trying to make?

It takes only a moment for your HIV status to change from negative to positive if transmission occurs.

If you tested negative yesterday but engage in activities that expose you to HIV, your status could change after that exposure. You may not know immediately, which is why appropriate testing, prevention, and timely medical advice matter.

This is not about living in fear of people. It is about understanding how infections are transmitted and making informed decisions rather than relying on assumptions.

You do not have to suspect everyone to protect yourself. You do not have to stigmatise people living with HIV to take your health seriously.

People living with HIV deserve love, dignity, and respect. With appropriate treatment, they can live long, healthy lives. Effective treatment can also reduce HIV in the blood to an undetectable level, at which point HIV is not sexually transmitted. This is known as Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U).

So, being intentional means protecting yourself while treating others with humanity.

Be intentional.

Live and socialise intentionally.

A safer society always begins with one intentional person influencing another.

You cannot change yesterday’s decisions, but you can make better-informed ones today. You can start now.

Protect yourself. ✅
Protect your family. ✅
Protect your friends. ✅
Protect your community. ✅

Never Assume Everyone Is Safe.

~ Gorgeous Golding™️

Purpose. Clarity. Influence.

Instagram: @gorgeous_golding
Substack: @gorgeousgolding
Email: gorgeousgolding@gmail.com