A Peek Into Gorgeous Golding’s Mind™: Integrity Is Everything

EPISODE 023

By Gorgeous Golding™

One of the best ways to learn who to trust is by paying attention to the presence or absence of integrity.

I once heard someone say, “Never get into any kind of involvement with anyone who’s got nothing to lose.”

That’s simply integrity.

Lemme share an experience with you.

I had this friend, and at the time, she was still dating her ex.

One day, she called me to tell me that her boyfriend needed an apartment and asked if I knew of any vacant ones around my residence.

I told her no, but that a friend’s neighbour had just moved out, and I could take them there to check it out.

The next day, they came by my house, parked at my gate, and called me. I told her I was coming.

Shortly after, I stepped out to meet them.

When I got out, I noticed how the boyfriend’s eyes lit up as he quickly took a glance at me.

I wasn’t quite sure what the spark was. I mean, people tell me a lot that I’m beautiful and very appealing, so admiration is quite natural to me.

However, at this point, they weren’t officially dating. They were still talking and building interest until, a few weeks later, it became official.

After that, we all became friends.

My friend would want us all to hang out, and sometimes she would have us visit him. We became very close. He would come over to my place to see my friend because she often came over to visit me and would sometimes spend the night or a few days.

Whenever they had a fight, I was the intermediary and, sometimes, the counsellor.

The relationship eventually became very serious, with both of their parents knowing about it.

Then one day, we both went to visit the guy, and my friend stepped out to pick up a delivery, leaving me alone with her boyfriend in the living room.

We continued chatting and laughing when he suddenly said something to me.

He called me Cindy, one of my other names that I don’t quite use, and said:

“If I’m to be really honest, I really like you. Right from the day I saw you coming out of your gate and saw your legs, I was like, ‘Oh my goodness!’ And the funny thing was, my girlfriend noticed. She even asked me, ‘You like her, right?’”

He said he laughed to cover it up and replied, “No nah.”

“I lied,” he admitted.

He went on to explain that, at the time, they weren’t dating yet and that the conversation came up again among them.

He said he eventually asked her, “If you believe I like her, then why haven’t I made advances at her or done something?”

He told me that if I had noticed, among all his girlfriend’s female friends, I was the only one who knew his house, hung out with them, and was that close to them.

Even her bestie and her twinnie didn’t come that close.

Then he told me something that stayed with me.

He said:

“My babe said she trusts you more than she trusts me.”

She had apparently told him that if it were her bestie or twinnie, she might have been concerned because, with the right pressure or influence, they could eventually do something, or even do it just for the fun of it.

But she trusted that I would never do such a thing.

I didn’t realize how much my friend had observed, analysed, and judged my character and core values throughout the years of our friendship.

She never told me this herself. I only heard it through the two different people she had told.

But what if I had never heard those reviews or testimonies?

It wouldn’t have made any difference anyway. I was simply being myself and living my life.

I never concerned myself with what was never mine or what was not clearly mine.

Loyalty is something you will never have to beg for in your dealings with me.

I didn’t just get there with my friend. She didn’t just wake up one morning and decide to trust me that much.

Our friendship had been tested. Over the years, it had revealed our strengths, our weaknesses, our values, and our boundaries.

Trust was the result.

And that’s the thing about character.

People are always watching, even when you don’t know they are.

It really breaks my heart when I see people complaining and crying over friendships and relationships.

Sometimes, the hurt didn’t just happen.

There were clear indications. There were possibilities. There were patterns.

You just chose to ignore them.

I was even disappointed to hear that my friend had a bestie and a twinnie whom she didn’t trust that much, yet remained friends with them regardless.

Guess what?

Their relationship eventually took a diminishing turn, and they finally broke up.

A few weeks later, my friend told me she suspected that her bestie had slept with her ex.

After a little back and forth, they both admitted that it had happened and blamed it on alcohol.

How great.

She saw the possibility of it happening from afar but allowed sentiment to cloud her judgment.

It’s crazy.

I guess they probably valued their excuses more than they valued their friendship and relationship, respectively.

Lack of integrity is a clear sign of a lack of self-value and self-worth. And a person who lacks that internally will always struggle to give it to others.

After all, you can’t give what you don’t have.

My point?

Work hard on yourself to become a person of value, not just in your outcomes, achievements, or what you can produce, but in your character.

And make friends with intentionality.

Bear in mind that a single mistake in judgment can cost you everything you have worked hard for. It can even undermine the sustainability of the character you spent years building.

Because people change.

And so can you.

Just don’t be the architect of your own downfall.

Stay safe and play safe.

~ Gorgeous Golding™️

GORGEOUS GOLDING™
Purpose. Clarity. Influence.

Instagram: @gorgeous_golding
Substack: @gorgeousgolding
Email: gorgeousgolding@gmail.com