A Peek Into Gorgeous Golding’s Mind: The Sad Truth About The World We Live In

EPISODE 026

By Gorgeous Golding™️

What if “I’m fine” is sometimes an act of love?

Sometimes we say we’re fine, not because we are. We say “fine” because we care.

We care too much not to bother you with our tears. Our worries. Our troubles.

We care so much that we worry about what our tears might do to you.

We care so much that we worry about your wellbeing too.

What if they’re in their own prison of trouble?

What if they’ve been handcuffed by their problems?

What if they’re also pretending, just like we are?

What if they’re also in their own boxing cage with life?

What if they’ve skipped a meal out of lack and not out of diet?

What if?

What if they were grieving and faked a smile immediately they saw you, but you noticed the fake smile and called them haters?

What if the reason they envy you is because of their countless nights of tears over terminated expectations and fruitless efforts?

What if the reason they hate you is because they lost their mind to the defeat and cruelty of the world, even when they genuinely deserved better?

What if?

What if you found out that the last person who texted you, “I’m fine,” were to die tomorrow?

What would be your response to the text?

What if all of that toughness is a façade to hide their consistent tears and brokenness?

What if the reason they fight you is because you are light, and in their world, light is darkness?

Good is not good everywhere.

Don’t be too quick to applaud yourself.

Don’t be too quick to tick off your own boxes.

I remember a couple of weeks ago, a friend called me, but I was so heartbroken, crying and sobbing so deeply that I couldn’t take the call.

Out of concern for my friend, so they wouldn’t feel ignored or neglected, I picked up my phone and there was a text from my friend, checking in on me.

I sent a smile emoji, pretending to be happy, because I wanted my friend to think of me as being happy, and maybe that would brighten their day.

And I replied, “I’m doing fine.”

And I received, “I’m glad to hear that you’re fine,” just like I wanted.

It’s really crazy how we pretend, not just to impress others, but because we genuinely love and care about them so much that we don’t want to drag them into our messy lives.

I don’t know, but if you’re my friend or family, please don’t ever text me, “I’m fine,” when the world is crashing down on you.

Even if I can’t stop the world from crashing down on you, at least do me the honour of letting me fight next to you.

A couple of years ago, in school, a friend of mine got arrested during a raid that took place around my house. A friend who was with them was caught with marijuana and somehow ended up at the back of the police truck.

I was home trying to figure out what to eat and decided to go check on my friend.

I came out just when they were leaving.

I was confused. I didn’t know what to do.

My landlord and people around told me the police station they had been taken to, but they said that since it was a Friday night, bail was not allowed.

I got even more confused.

I was about to eat before the incident happened because I was famished, but that hunger became history.

I went to call on our other friends so we could go to the station together.

My friends called another friend who worked at the station and were told that nothing could be done that night because it was a weekend.

One of our other friends went back home, but I insisted I wanted to get to the station.

My other friend, who was a guy, tried convincing me not to go because there was nothing we could do.

We couldn’t call our parents because how would we explain the reason for the arrest?

I couldn’t imagine going back home to sleep while my friend was probably crying somewhere.

I insisted until my friend gave in.

We got to the station at about 8:30 PM, and we were told to go and come back the next day.

Me, go home?

I told my friend that I couldn’t go home.

We went outside the premises, sat in the garden, and just worried.

To cut the story short, I stayed around the premises at a store opposite the station until the next day.

I could not go home.

My friend could also not leave me behind.

He stayed there with me.

Cold and mosquitoes dealt with us, but I didn’t care.

I was worried about my two friends.

The one locked behind the counter and the one stressing outside with me.

I don’t remember what the mosquito bites and the cold felt like, but my friend never forgot my sacrifice throughout the incident.

I may not have been able to do anything that night to secure a bail, but my presence was something.

Knowing that a heart genuinely cared was something.

That was friendship.

That was love.

And sometimes, it’s all we need.

I really do hope we associate and interact with genuine intentionality.

Without holding back.

Because at the end of the day, nothing really matters but you and I.

~ Gorgeous Golding™️

Purpose. Clarity. Influence.

Instagram: @gorgeous_golding
Substack: @gorgeousgolding
Email: gorgeousgolding@gmail.com